Bermuda Jail Journal #2.

I started blogging about my time in a Bermuda prison 3yrs ago.  I kept a journal so the experience would always be with me, plus there was nothing to do there except for read and write! I read mostly! Anyway, I'm continuing with my second entry.  Refer to the article below the entry to find out why I was there in the first place.

Sep, 2007
"I've paid for my mistakes I feel, but I truly THINK that I've accepted Jesus in my life and he's accepted me back.  I'm not sure my prayers are heard, but it feels good to pray anyway.  Although I know I only pray when I'm in pain. 
I need to roll a cigarette....BRB! (actually 3, thank God for the Samson Tobacco, cause cigs are very very limited and someone always wants one!) I am not afraid to say no to people, and I'm not really generally scared here.  Definitely a bit paranoid, especially since I'm not from here.  Only Raina, TiTi and of course my girl Tanya are the only pple from the states.  I'll tell you more in a minute, it's just that we're on lockdown right now and I want to get some reading done.  Even though it's ALL I do in here!
THATS WHY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN MORE, BUT DON'T WORRY I'LL NEVER FORGET THESE PEOPLE OR THIS EXPERIENCE.
Another thing I hear the girls say in her are "girls come in and girls go out." By the way, I like Gina, the new girl.  I mentioned her before.  She came in a week after me, she has 8 mnths in here plus probation, like most of the girls. 
I'm grateful for when my time comes to an end, my life will have some kinda new beginning, a new faith.  Like my new life with Pat, my future husband to be, my family.  To make my wrongs a right and show them how grateful I am for them and also promise to try and not take them for granted again, but i'll never say never.  I know my pot habit will continue, but maybe with less interest - although that's the one thing I doubt about myself.  God knows I haven't thought about it in here, for 30 days! Which may seem like nothing compared to the time the other girls have to spend in here.  One woman 14yrs! But i realize I have to stop minimalizing my feelings about being here for JUST 30 days.  My sentence was shorter than anyone has seen in a long time, some inmates have said to me.  A month out of my life has been taken away from me, but haven't I always thought that I deserve the worse, no matter how much havoc and chaos that goes on back home?"

Reading these entries now, I can see that I'm talking to myself kinda.  I'm all over the place, I've become spiritual b/c prayers are all I had.  I went to church there...luckily I was able to attend that.  I wasn't qualifed to take any classes during my time, due to it being to short.  30 days was not enough, so when the other girls, who were doing more time, were all off doing classes like arts & crafts, and other stuff to keep them occupied between breakfast, lunch, dinner & bed, I was reading and reading, rolling cigs for rec time and that's that.  Im happy I read a lot of books though.  I'll be listing them later on.  I also realized my journal is really long, but since I didn't date my entries it's all just one blur.  So that's why I'm breaking them up like so.  And as mentioned before refer to the link below to see WHY i was in prison. 
http://www.royalgazette.com/siftology.royalgazette/Article/article.jsp?sectionId=60&articleId=7d7a82f30030006