Happy New Year!

So it's 2011.  New Years eve past, and it's the 2nd day of the upcoming year.  I stayed in with my hubby and did mellow nye celebration. 
Anyway this post may happen to be a little of a downer.  First off, I always thought New Years was overrated.  The expensive parties, Times Square...everyone goes all out trying to do something big for that night. And that's ok for them, but to me for some reason, it's just another day. But I have so many bad memories of NYE.  I was using cocaine for two yrs, heavily, 6yrs ago before I went to rehab & before I got better, there were so many bridges I had burnt that I was alone when I got ok for awhile.  Not many friends at all. No boyfriends, just bootycalls.  And no bootycalls on NYE right?  All the fella's are with their girlfriends! I used to go down to my parents Long Beach condo, (which is sick), pre-roll about 8-9 blunts, watch Mean Girls over & over, then go to bed.  For me it wasn't NYE because I was so sick at the time.  The aftermath of the addiction was just as bad as the addiction itself.  Depression, anxiety, destructivness, obsessive compulsive behavior, (which you can prob tell I have from reading my blog).  So yeah staying in with my best friend, my husband...smoking, sounds so great.  I can't make a resolution, cuz i usually don't stick with shit...so why even try?
It's Sunday afternoon and I'm watching Salt, with Angelina Jolie.  Up till last night, the yr was going ok.  But i'm a little let down today.   You know, life is life and I'm married and things aren't always perfect.  I'm not complaining, I'm so very happy and in love, but it is work.  So i just feel empty right now.  And i've been thinking about so many things I want to blog about, such as Chaser LA tees, denim of course, JET, plain TEEs, Prison Break....and I can't bring myself to write now.  Or since my last post.  I just want to get back in the groove of things.  I've been feeling a little down lately and it might be the result of a 50mg Seroquil that i've been taking (I posted about that before), to go to sleep.  Ever since my mg was upped to 50 from 25, i think i've been acting a little crazy.  Or depressed...again.  I have to talk to my doctor on tomorrow.  I trust him.  I can't just go off it completely b/c if it is causing this "down cycle" if you want to call it, if I go off it cold turkey...it will have the same side effects of me taking it.  You go crazy on the pill and you go crazy when you get off it, especially if it's been in your system.  I don't want to blame chemicals yet, I mean i'm sure pple get get depressed, but when it's me...I get scared.  I get scared b/c I think it could always be more, especially with my history with medication.  Being on and off it, that it is...for such a long time!
So I guess I'll see how he day plays out and even the week.  Hopefully I'll get the urge to blog.  I bet it would make me feel better.  But for now, this is the best I could do. 
Any suggestions??? Readers??? None right? LOL. 
I hope all my readers, if any, are having the best New Year ever and best wishes to all.  Stay tuned, b/c I am gonna follow thru with this blog, even if it takes me a long time. 

Oh & Ps: Salt...very good movie.  I def recommend, especially for Angelina fans.  Too be honest, I'm not her biggest as of lately!  But it's a damn good movie.  Anyway...that's it!  I can't even write more about the movie cuz of the way I feel.  Guess you gotta watch it:)